betrayed by my "hero"

i've learned some information on a person i considered to be my hero that completely defies everything i ever saw them standing for. i don't know how to handle that. you spend so much time thinking about how great they are and that they changed your life for the better only to find out that your life could have been completely different. i know that i stand for not having any regrets, but when something this extraordinary happens it leaves you feeling very out of control. this "hero" of mine lead me to believe i was being saved... only i am NOT certain as to how true those words are anymore... i initially wanted to confront my "hero" about these certain instances, but i am left unsettled in that department. this changes me as a person. it changes my view point on life, love and religion. it leaves me so hopelessly lost that i may not ever find my way back to the surface. i just don't know who to trust anymore. all i can say for certain is that my life is mine and i intend to live it the way i want to now. no more uncertainty, no more advice from my "hero".